I just sat down and already have butterflies reminiscing about this day.
It was exciting, scary, surprising, sacred, inspiring, fun, and so, so wonderful.
I love telling and hearing birth stories because they are truly miracles. Mine remind me of how strong I am and give me courage to face difficult situations that come my way. They give me confidence and make me so proud to be the woman I am. There is something magical about them...
Rudy is just over a month old and is laying next to me looking everywhere with those big blue eyes (and tooting like a champ). Brother has taken a break from smothering Rudy with kisses and is napping. Since bringing him home I have been continually amazed at how well this Mother-of-two thing is going. Not to say my patience isn't tested atleast hourly- and I often go to bed feeling like I failed, asking my Father in Heaven for help doing better the next day. I had prepped my mind for the worse possibility- Everything I did I would think how in the world am I going to do this with a baby?? But Rudy is an amazing baby. And Logan...well, he has continued being sweet Logan. He was thrilled to meet the baby we had been talking about for so long. The first thing he did when we brought him home was bring his favorite toys to share. Rudy is the first thing he asks for when he wakes up, and his imagination has seemed to kick in just in time to keep himself busy during feedings. He hasn't once become angry with Rudy. The worst that's happened is that he lays on him to give kisses. I think I say "Okay, that's enough kisses" about 1,387 times a day.
Rudy came quick. Quicker than Logan. And looking back, I am glad I didn't wait any longer to head to the hospital or this story might have been very different.
It started early on May 9th, the day before Mother's Day. I had been sleeping on the couch since the cushions lessened the pain of intensifying Braxton contractions. They had kicked up a notch on the painscale and woke me before Logan was up. I couldn't seem to get back to sleep so just rested there in my new comfy robe Martha had given me at my shower. I love that thing, It spread across my belly just perfect and was so soft- perfect for belly rubbin' and conversations. Daddy had an early work morning so Logan and I spent it lounging and watching movies. While they certainly weren't strong enough to send me to the hospital, these new contractions made me wonder if labor could be coming sooner than later- and led to this lighthearted Instagram post:
Is today the day?
#ouch
#ready
#ricefam
I soon came up with a plan for the day, got Logan and I dressed and went off to do some errands. We needed some paint for our house and some white paint to
finally cover up the pink in Logan's room from the previous tenants. I remember as I started the car I found myself pushing my left foot against the car floor and gritting my teeth.
Uum...ouch.
Off to the paint store I went...
At the store is when I started to get a tiny bit worried. I was actually being stopped by these "Braxton Hicks" and trying to rally Logan was overwhelming me. Yet, still the thought of having a baby that day did not even cross my mind. I got our paint and set off for another paint store in Ballard.
But it was getting worse.
While the nice man was mixing my paint I was so glad Logan was distracted with the free grand opening lunch and the kids that were dancing in circles around the store. I could just focus on breathing. So I did, trying to stay calm and inconspicuous. It was about noon when I was getting Logan in the car and Jeff called.
"I'm in pain. I don't think I'm in labor but these contractions are hurting me."
And Jeff asked what he always asked when I said anything pregnancy related- "
what does that mean?" Ha.
I told him I wasn't sure but that I was on my way home.
I should have known better but since my one and only other labor experience started with my water breaking- I was waiting for that. Silly lady.
When I got home Logan went down for a nap and I went to bed to do the same. But I couldn't sleep. I would fall asleep in between contractions and then I'd be forced awake, have to curl up into a ball and breathe my way through. Every time I would write down the time and was realizing these were pretty darn steady. After a while of this I realized I would not be getting any sleep so I took my cell phone and paper and pencil with me to walk around the block- to see if my water would break. I know..
After a lap I called my mom. As soon as I heard her voice tears started falling and I told her I wasn't sure if this was the real thing but that I hurt. She knew better and told me she thought this was the day. I insisted that she finish her Costco run and that I would keep her posted.
I kept walking the pregnancy walk and jotting down contraction times.
After I hung up I felt like I should call my midwives and tell them what was happening- a prompting in response to my quick silent prayers for sure. Sounds crazy but I still truly did not think I was going to be having a baby that day. I blame hormones, emotions and the fact that it's hard to face the fact that you might be about to go through something really painful.
I was happy when the midwife on-call called back and it was Cindy. A handful of my friends who had just had babies with the midwives always had good things to say about her. I had seen her many times throughout my pregnancy, including the last appointment I had where I sobbed and told her how exhausted I was. She was always kind, understanding and personal. We talked about what I was feeling. I remember telling her that these weren't '
oh my gosh, get me an epidural NOW' contractions, but that they certainly hurt and were about 8 minutes apart. She said she'd like me to come in to the hospital to "see what my cervix was doing".
Really?? Here we go...
Before hanging up, she asked how long my labor with Logan was and when I told her under 4 hours she chuckled and said
"uum yeah, come on in."
On my way back to the house I sent a text to a couple friends telling them what was up and asking if they could take Logan. I also texted my sisters and Joanne and updated Mom:
"Contractions getting strong and every 8 min. Just spoke to midwife and they want me to come in and get checked out. Ill keep you posted."
Back at the apartment we threw the last few things in our bags, made one for Logan and went to drop him at our friend Jaclyn's house.
And then it started getting real.
I wanted to walk Logan to the door and say bye while Jeff unloaded everything. And it was at the door when my contractions started winning. I was stopped in my tracks. So, realizing that I was probably seeing Logan for the last time as an only child, my emotions got the best of me and I squeezed him a little longer as we said bye. How grateful I
am to have been able to leave him in great hands and get a hug and word of encouragement from a dear friend before leaving. I sure love ya, Jac. When in the car another dear friend, Ashley, called to wish me luck and I was having a hard time talking.
On the way to the hospital I had to remind Jeff to step on it- even though every bump in the road added to the pain. By this time it was almost 4:00 and contractions were every 4-5 minutes and intensifying. It was time to ditch the pencil and paper and focus.
You're having a baby, lady!
After parking I had to stop several times before we reached the door. When inside I asked Jeff to go find a wheelchair, but managed to get to the desk on my own where a nurse rubbed my back during another contraction. Apparently they could tell by that that I was in real labor and that I was staying- so off we went to my room where I met Cindy and talked about my pain levels. They were so great at staying calm and keeping the room positive in an intense situation.
They made me laugh when all I wanted to do was cry and cry.
When a comment was made about whether I was staying Cindy cheerfully pointed out "
are ya kidding? She's got one butt cheek in the air!" (In response to pain my right hip popped up when was standing as I tensed up.) Apparently this is common... Ha.
They asked me to change and then started the iv pokes, blood draws and questions. I had Jeff tape up the focus points I packed: A photo of Logan with my belly, an ultrasound photo and a painting of Christ- because it reminded me that if he could suffer what he did, I could make it through this labor pain.
We talked about my birthplan which involved attempting another medicine-free delivery and trying different positions to lessen pain and ease recovery. I remember them asking where I was at on the pain scale and asking what amount was acceptable to me- to which I responded
"Well, I guess a 10, since that's the goal."
Talk about a reality check.
But I followed that up with telling the nurses I'd probably break down and ask for an epidural-and asked them to remind me of my goal. They smiled and said "oh, we all do...", and told me not to worry.
Joanne soon arrived and it was nice to have another familiar face in the room.
It soon came time for the check...
"Oh, my dear you are at a 7. You get to meet your baby soon..."
All those contractions had been doing me good.
And with that, I texted my Mom who was en route:
"Haul Butt!"
She was there before I knew it and I was so, so happy. She has a way of making me feel like I can do anything.
I texted Ashley and Jaclyn the news and they sent me back texts of encouragement and texts that said
"RUDY! RUDY! RUDY! (in a deep voice)" - just like in the movie. Aaawesome, loved it. :)
In between contractions I joked with Cindy and the nurses about how I think I made some guys at a paint store very nervous that morning. I distracted myself by looking at photos of Logan on my phone. They made me feel good by telling me I was doing awesome and asking my Mom if she was this great during her labors.
I have learned from my two (quick) labors that by staying calm, breathing steadily and focusing on the baby I'm about to meet that I am able to get through most of the pain without panicking much. And this time I felt better going in to it since I had a midwife by my side that was going to help me with different ideas to manage that pain. Whichever position I was in, during a contraction I would bury my head in my hands, block out everything around me and take slow deep breaths. I spent the beginning on my knees rocking back and forth which was wonderful. When the pain was getting closer to a 10 I tried standing. But that seemed to add pressure to the bottom of my belly. And so did bouncing on the ball...and getting back on my knees. I soon voiced outloud
"these are getting worse"
and went to lay on my side in the bed. Up until now I was holding myself together but I was realizing that the reason no position was helping was because baby boy was ready to come out.
And this is when I can stop being proud about staying calm. Ha.
It was almost pushing time... and. it. hurt.
Once I got on my side things intensified and I tried desperately to stay in control. Yelling and screaming just isn't me but inside I was losing it. Contractions were right on top of eachother and my pain level was most definitely a 10.
There I stayed on my side facing my three helpers- Jeff near my head rubbing my hair, Mom- where I could squeeze her arm, and Joanne- offering words of encouragement and waiting to greet her grandson.
Things were moving right along when very suddenly I felt ready to push.
From that point on I have to say I was a little terrified. It was all so fast and furious and intense, I didn't feel like I had much time to wrap my mind around what was happening.
I was just trying to buy paint! :)
With this sudden urge I frantically asked Cindy if I was allowed to push and if I needed to move from my side. She told me to stay where I was and do whatever felt natural.
I don't remember how long I pushed but I remember feeling like I couldn't do it. I remember wanting it to be over so badly. I was grateful for Jeff's constant reassurance that this was almost over. I remember gripping my Mom's arm so hard that even in the middle of it I was worried I was hurting her.
For whatever reason- adrenalin, the situation, first baby or just time passing... I don't remember feeling as much pain delivering Logan. But I certainly felt every bit of Rudy making his way into the world. Every little bit of him.
At a point I told Cindy that I didn't care what damage would be done to me, but to please just help me get him out. I asked her if it would be easier once I got his head out and when she said yes, I gave it everything I had. I wanted and needed this to be over.
I remember gripping Mom's arm and pushing with every ounce of energy I had- so much that I was told to slow it down.
She reassured me that he was almost here and asked me to switch to shorter, smaller pushes.
I remember looking up at Jeff and focusing on the words "It's almost over".
And then I heard the sweetest tiny cry and was told to hold my arms out...
How do I even describe this picture? So much relief and Joy. All I could do was kiss him and cry, cry, cry. My heart was bursting with love for him, for the moment, for my family.
Before I even saw him Cindy said he was workin' a pretty cute bottom lip.Ooh, I love that lip...!
He amazed us by how fast he opened his eyes and stared right at Daddy when he heard him. He did this a lot- just minutes after he was born.
There's that bottom lip...
A couple other random things I remember:
- His extra long arms
- He startled so easily and seemed very nervous about this new place, but was quickly soothed with a few cuddles
- His crooked hair swirl
- He wasted no time. Wanted to nurse right away. Nom, nom.
I am so happy with the whole experience. It was crazy intense but I knew we were in good hands. I feel so blessed to have had the midwives for my care. It all felt so natural and beautiful. They let me hold him as long as I wanted after he was born and rarely bothered us afterwards. Cindy stayed in my room from start to finish, making me feel like her #1 priority. She listened to me, looked me in the eyes, held my hand, had compassion and made me feel important. Physical and emotional recovery has been a breeze this time, much due to them.
Later, in the middle of the night I woke to some familiar sounds coming from the next room. Someone else was about to meet her baby. Just when I was starting to feel anxious for her and cover my ears I heard the baby cry, and a room full of happy clapping people. I wanted to run in there and hug her and tell her what a great job she did. I sat there and cried and said a prayer for her and baby and was overwhelmed by all the goodness that was going on around me.
Rudy Wilson Rice
Born 10 days early, the day before Mother's Day, 1 hour and 45 minutes after arriving at the hospital.
7 lb 1 oz
18 1/2 in long
5:45 pm
Happy Birthday, Rudy!
The next day when Grandma Woodhouse brought Logan to meet "woo-dee", he was absolutely delighted. Just look at the joy on his face. He was so in love from the start and kept touching his face and kissing his head. He loved babies, and now he had his own...
Rudy came bearing a gift for brother: A new toy motorcycle that did wheelies. Right on!
As soon as that was brought out Logan was on the floor with his new toy and we got to have a photoshoot with Auntie Nik:
To my sweet Rudy: You are loved more than you can imagine. I am honored to be your Mother. I can't wait to kiss your owies, help you work through your mistakes and watch your personality develop.
To my dear Husband: You've made my dreams come true. Thank you for trusting in me and going on this wild ride with me. I am honored to be your wife. I love you x infinity.
To the new big Brother: Congratulations. :) Seeing you love him has brought us so much joy. You continue to amaze us. Love you!
Off we go...
